It’s all in your head!
Posted March 27, 2010on:
Happiness is a state of mind, not a goal.
At times we wait for a ‘perfect moment’ to make a call or wear our best dress or to do ‘xyz’ task. Waiting for the perfect moment means waiting forever.
Hesitation delays success, not pain, and freezes fear in place. Be dauntless. Take the action. You’ll achieve more, be happier, and spend less time worried and afraid.
Prioritize the items by difficulty . . . and then do the most difficult one first.
Don’t look at the present as a brief moment, a slice of time between the past and the future; view it as an experience, as a state of mind.
A practical technique to be happy
Take out your journal and turn to a fresh page. On top of the page write the heading “Things for Which I’m Grateful.”
Start by writing, “I’m alive,” and move on from there, line by line, filling as many pages as you need.
Start by concentrating on those you love. Write about family and friends and pets from your past and present. For instance, you might write, “I’m grateful for my friendship with Nelson Barber, who always makes me laugh.”
Next, move on to places you love or loved. The list could include special spots that have always brought you serenity, or it could consist solely of your home. You might write something like “I’m grateful for our apartment overlooking the harbor.” It might also consist of places you’ve been to only once—say, the little pension in Vienna where you spent a magical weekend with your spouse, or the summit of Mount Rainier, which you
climbed with your brother last summer.
Turn to things you value. I know, people are always railing against materialism. But let’s be real: there are things that give us joy. It could be your library, or a set of golf clubs, or your collection of shoes. No one is going to read this list, so don’t feel self-conscious about offering thanks for some inanimate objects others might think valueless. If you’re grateful for your Weber grill or your string of pearls, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging it.
Tips and techniques
Too many of us spend our lives planning and hoping and dreaming about how wonderful our lives could be in the future. As a result, we fail to see how wonderful life is today.
• Take responsibility for your own happiness and start living in the now. Tomorrow is too late. You can be happy today.
• When you look at the present in terms of time, it becomes infinitesimal and blurry. Instead, look at the present as an experience, as a state of mind.
• The present is the experience of living, not remembering or hoping.
• Prudent planning is fine, but there’s a big difference between planning for the future and living in it.
• Take inventory of all the things for which you’re grateful: the people you love, the places you enjoy, the things that bring you pleasure.
• Don’t defer happiness to some nonexistent tomorrow. Let yourself be happy today.